Ok, I know I owe you many things- like posts, updates, witty banter; but I can only do one thing at a time and right now I’m touching my hair.

I must sound like a repeater machine (there’s a phrase for that, but I can’t focus on anything but touching my hair right now), but I have fine, thin hair that is very processed at the ends and very oily at the roots. I need to treat my ends as if they were spider webs disintegrating at random. Because they are. Pink spider webs, just a cracklin’ off all the time. So you think, ugh, what a conundrum, because the ends need a ton of protein and moisture (yes both, I’ll pinky promise that post soon because they are different-DIFFERENT, PEOPLE!) but wouldn’t that weigh down the fine hair and make the roots oily?

Yes. Yes it does.

But I tried something cool today and I can finally give my own first-hand account of my experience with a glorious, glowing, shining mistress- coconut oil.

I used my protein mask in the shower, on the processed part of my ends only (because why waste product and why treat something that doesn’t need it? We all know what happened in the Westernized world with antibiotics . . . ), put my towel on my head while I did, um, some things, like, for, like, i dunno, like, 7 minutes.

Then I took my hair down spritzed My PH sealer and detangler, my favorite Healthy Sexy Hair Soy Tri-Wheat Leave In (sometimes I wish they’d change that name- acronym, perhaps?), and emulsified a tiny amount of coco oil in my palms. I applied in the same way I applied my protein mask in-shower, mostly with a pressing and squeezing motion, not so much dragging or raking.

The emulsifying part is important: people tend to forget you have to evenly distribute product onto the palms or fingers- otherwise there is too much product piled in one area of the hand- translating into too much product dumped into one part of the hair. When that happens, people think their product doesn’t work and that it sucks. Really it’s just them that sucks. Just Kidding. When you spread a thin coating onto your hands, you spread a thin coating onto your hair strands (ooh I rhyme!), wasting less product and getting better results. You can always do a couple coats if you need more.

So I put the coconut oil on after my beloved leave in, then blow dried- don’t always, but I knew that by expanding the cuticle with heat and air, my hair would probably look less oily in case my visit with the mistress went awry. I can say, 10 minutes into this adventure, at least, that I really like it and I’ll do it again. Maybe air dried wavy next time. Feels like a serum, but with no silicone, and less heavy, inexpensive, and natural. And I smell like a mounds bar. Win win.

I’ve included just-blow dried ends so you can see the consistency of hair I’m working with. Maybe try it and let me know what you think??

Excitedly,

Mopsy

This is why you need a trim. This is the end of a healthy hair- so imagine what a damaged or split end looks like??

Just saying.

 

 

How to treat your stylist, how not to treat your stylist, and how to behave in the salon:

1. Show up. Cardinal sin= a no show. No show on a Saturday? find a new salon and change your name. Seriously, though, just a quick, authentic apology and don’t do it again.

2. Be on time. It doesn’t matter if I’m late. We’re not friends meeting for lunch, my salon and myself are navigating a complicated and tricky set of circumstances, including 10 people’s schedules on my books alone. I need you to be ready when I am, even if it’s my fault my schedule is off. If I’m running late, I’ll try to let the receptionist know to reach you, but I don’t always have that luxury. Sometimes we wait- at the dentist, the doctor- we’re only guessing how long something will take when we make a series of appointments, and you should not get grumpy. In a rush? Need to be out by a certain time? You should have booked for another day. Telling me you have something immediately following doesn’t make me run on time, it just helps you vent and makes everyone around us uncomfortable.

3. If you accidently forget your appointment, are too late in arriving, or make some other mistake, don’t give a long-winded explanation of why you’re justified. The bottom line is: you aren’t here, you hurt others chances of getting an available spot, my pocket, and my boss’s pocket. Taking up further time explaining only chews up more time of mine or the salon’s. A quick, ‘sorry, business call,’ would be fine. We know things happen. Let’s just move on, ok? At least if I’m not standing there listening to the 11 minute step by step of how Toddler Joe’s shoe then feel off again at Metropolitan, and that’s when the dog’s leash wrapped around your knees and the banana shoved up your nose . . . . I can go sit for a few minutes and prepare for my next client, or go grab a cup of coffee.

4. Tipping. Each stylist has their own opinion about this one, I come from the school of thought that anything more than you had before is awesome. Generally speaking, any time I touch you (don’t get all drrrty on me, people, I’m talking bang trims, neck trims, fixing your color, re-toning you, etc) you should offer a tip. I almost always turn it down for small jobs, but you can leave it at the front if you really insist. I usually refuse twice. It just gets awkward after that. No, I don’t think you’re a jerk for tipping 10%, but do I feel extra warm inside when you leave 20%? probably.

5. Look, I want to give almost everyone free haircuts, but I live in Brooklyn where there’s no free rent. I not only pay my bills by cutting your hair, but my boss’s (who is my friend, by the way. Screwing her doesn’t make me feel like I’m ‘sticking it to the man,’ my boss is awesome, and a young woman in business and I want her to succeed) and in turn all the people who are employed by her. I know we really like each other and maybe hang out, too, but I can’t discount your ‘do. I just can’t. please don’t ask and please don’t think I love you less because I can’t. I won’t go into a full diatribe here of the reasons a haircut costs what it does, but I will put a link to an article a stylist friend of mine found and we’ll discuss it later. You have health insurance and a 401K. I pay cash out of pocket for my medical and dental stuff and get no paid vacation, including a million more reasons  —  stop  — link, Mopsy; discuss it later . . . . If you don’t have the money for a cut, don’t get one. If you can’t afford color, don’t get it. I don’t negotiate with my dentist and I don’t complain in front of them how expensive it is. If I happen to discount something for you, know that it’s a gift from me, personally, and is coming from my own heart and my own pocket. It’s not part of some bigger equation. The amount I’m not charging you is the amount I’m forfeiting.

6. Please don’t ask me to squeeze you in. There is nowhere to ‘squeeze’ you into. I’ve watched my cat crawl into some pretty tiny boxes, but if I’m booked, there is no box small enough in the world to fit your haircut. My salon doesn’t work with assistants, meaning, I do all the work, all the time- other salons can sometimes ‘squeeze’ someone in because they have an assistant to wash out another client’s color and blow dry them. I don’t have that luxury or downtime. By trying to accommodate you, I either have to deprioritize a client who was more on top of their schedule, or neglect Mary Sue’s bleach job while I just give you a ‘quick trim.’ What does that translate to? You are giving Mary Sue massive scalp burns because you think she should wait- you deserve to be squeezed in.

It takes about a week to get in with me, longer if you want a weekend or evening- I’m not possessive and totally get if you need to go see someone else for a cut- I don’t own you!

7. If I give you my phone number, use it with discretion. For the love of God, please please please do not text me anything about hair when I’m not on the clock.

8. I love you, are you still with me? deep breath, ok more-

9. If you don’t trust me, I’m not going to cut your hair. One of the perks of my job is that I can say no to anyone. If I think your hair can’t handle the chemicals or if I sense we don’t have the same aesthetic, trust me, I’m doing both of us a favor by saying no.

10. I only recommend products that I truly believe, after years of experimentation and research, will benefit you. I’m not trying to sell you something, and I’m sorry you’ve had that experience in the past from other stylists. If I sell you something from the salon, no one gets commission on it- it’s one reason I chose to work where I do.

11. If you are unhappy, talk to me. I’m a professional, and re-do’s , alterations, and changes are part of my job. If it’s something I’ve done wrong, I won’t have you pay. But if I’ve done what you’ve asked and after seeing it on you, you just don’t like it, you’ll need to pay me to change it. Any time you are experiencing dissatisfaction, please remain calm. Getting worked up won’t help you communicate to me what you do want. And you don’t need to be embarrassed, I want you to like your hair! Admittedly, I am so bad with symmetry. I’m human, we make mistakes!

12. Please be polite to the staff. When you call and speak to someone, it’s one of two people- both my friends. They are really on top of their game and are just trying to do their best to look after me, my needs, and help the salon run smoothly. Sometimes I’m sitting right next to them eating lunch- I can overhear the tone of voice you’re using with them . . .

I’m sure this will be amended a million times, but this is a good start 🙂

I really, totally, and truly think I have the best clientele on Earth, and I’m grateful to see you all and your mops. i hope this stuff doesn’t come across too harshly, but there are intricacies of every workplace that are often go undefined- I thought this may give insight on what it’s like to work where I do. This is also not not directed at anyone in particular and most of it is valid for any salon, so keep it in mind If you move or get cut whilst on vacay (I always encourage that, by the way- so interesting to see haircuts from around the world!). Thank you for being so incredible, I love you guys (in a professional way, of course!).

http://womenshair.about.com/od/haircutsstyles/tp/Why-A-Haircut-Costs-So-Much.htm

Love and appreciation,

Mopsy

I wanna work on TV and film sets. My random knowledge makes me an asset, and I love a challenge.

For example: If someone can make a very attractive person’s teeth, hair, and skin look like this, I want in on it. Have Pennsatucky’s crew won an Emmy yet for these choppers?

Also, I do the Sherlock ‘twist and curl’ diffuse technique in the salon every. day.

Set me up,

Mopsy

She’s a mover and a shaker while she sleeps. Trust me, if you knew everything she got done and dealt with during the daylight hours, it would make sense.

Eventually I’ll gift her a satin pillowcase and some leave in conditioner to help that processed hair stay smooth in her apparently very wild nap time, but for now I’m loving these photos too much 😉

Giggling,

Mopsy

 

 

Heavens. I just soaked my achin’ bones (well, muscles) in some lavender epsom salts. This stuff is a really big deal and just doesn’t get enough use as a medical treatment.

I come from a family that believes massages are fluff, that you should breathe through the pain and not complain!!! But a little understood symptom of dysautonomia is really tense, tight, reactionary shoulder and neck muscles, and I gotta say, most days I want to scream into a pillow from the feeling.

It seriously feels like someone lit a match, blew it out, and poked it deeeeeep underneath my shoulder blades. More than that, every time I try to move my neck, It feels like I’m chewing on tinfoil if my neck had teeth. On a great day, I’m seriously stiff and seriously tight.

Holding a blow dryer and brush, pulling coarse, curly hair taught for 11 hours a day i guess isn’t the most wonderful solution, but hey, I love my job, and for right now, it’s what I do, so I want to do my best.

Not to keep harping on illness, and I certainly don’t mean ‘poor me,’ but I also struggle to maintain a blood pressure that lives above stagnant, and an increase in salts helps. Right, right, Americans get too much sodium, you say- it’s all the fast food! It’s the crap we eat! It’s bad for your blood pressure! Don’t forget that there are many salts humans need for survival, and sodium is just one. I get enough sodium, but I take magnesium and potassium in several forms, and I just feel so much better when I do. I should say I can step back from the precipice of ‘I’m going to faint/barf/convulse’ and can participate in some life.  I know this is a problem from a flaw in my body and I’m not saying everyone needs more salt, I’m just saying balance and moderation is great for everyone, and health is better than non-health.

I tried to research the connection between soaking in epsom salt (which is magnesium sulfate) and relieving sore muscles and other pain, detoxifying (another popular claim), and in helping raise the blood pressure of my sad, faulty nervous system- alas, there is very little research. Not any medical proof is out there about epsoms.

I swear, I feel my shoulders unclenching their mad little toddler-tantrum fists and I feel my blood rejuvinated after using them- why? Doctors recommend external use (there is actually FDA proof of the benefits of internal use) for so many things, yet the reason for the benefit isn’t really known. They just know that over a really long history and large sample size, it’s been shown that these salts help.

Cool, story of my life- ‘take this, we don’t know why it helps, but it seems to.’

Oof, why can’t we research and support more natural treatments? Why can’t we find the proof we need so I can explain and draw all the molecules?!?!?! My sciency brain is mad at that.

At least tonight my shoulders feel better and I won’t scream, and My blood pressure seems to be holding strong. Thanks epsom salts, I think I owe you one, but I’m not totally sure.

In Gratitude,

Mopsy

For knowing more, because I always want to:

http://www.dinet.org/

http://www.epsomsaltcouncil.org/about/

http://saveyourself.ca/articles/epsom-salts.php (I don’t know who this guys is- he does try to sell something in his article, but it’s super entertaining!)

 

 

Well, geez, it seems like everyone under the sun wants to know about natural haircare. No wonder, with recent focus on GMO’s and chemical spills, radiation and such- I’m beyond ecstatic that attention is drawn to healthy hair, skin, and ultimately, our lifestyle as a whole. High Five!

I should point out that there are very gentle and effective human-made ingredients- in fact, they are sometimes more effective than their natural buddies. Not all of these are bad for you or your hair. Some are carefully formulated to solve a specific issue, and there may not be something natural that performs as well. Just because you can’t pronounce an ingredient doesn’t mean you should nix using it entirely. Sunscreen is human-made in a lab, and it’s sure hard to replicate that naturally. Any knowledge I’ve accumulated in my lil’ pea brain is due to countless hours courting the google home screen with romantic language like ‘cetearyl alcohol,’ or ‘hydrogen bond,’ so feel free to do the same if there’s an ingredient in question.

Protein and moisture are two of the trickiest necessities to mimic in a natural way- the human-made versions are just usually more effective. When made in a lab or cooked up specifically for the purpose of hair and skin, molecules get pulverized smaller, ingredients are buffered to be more gentle, and regular stuff is supercharged.

However, friends allergies and other limitations prompted me to want to share a little of what I know about the au natural world, and I do have some valid suggestions.

Occasionally I’ll make a food mask for my ‘do, or use a finishing rinse of beer or apple cider vinegar, and you can find wonderful ingredients in the kitchen- avocado, honey, coconut oil (um, careful with this one- you could end up looking like gollum), olive oil, egg yolk, baking soda, cream, citrus, cinnamon, vinegar, etc. each have a helpful function. You can check out my Pinterest board for helpful recipes. Beer and acv work with the ph level of the hair, closing the shaft of the hair, thus detangling it and making it quite shiny. It doesn’t add moisture, though, just fyi.

Great, so we’ve all washed our greasy heads with baking soda, smooshed avocado into our ends, and marinated with vinegar to smell like a salad. Now what? For the truly low maintenance, this is where we leave you. Good luck and have fun. For the curious, read on . . .

When it comes to styling your salad hair, it gets a little tricky- I mean, we’ve already used all the eggs, and your hair is still a greaseball from the EVOO. J/K. Some peeps find coconut oil in wet hair a wonderful alternative to serum, leave in conditioner, or curl balm. Be careful, as a little goes a long way, and there isn’t a dry shampoo on this planet strong enough to nix that mess if you over-apply. It’s Dawn dishsoap in the shower for you, pal. Coconut oil has a low melting temperature, so if you prefer to keep it in the refrigerator, emulsifying it in your hands will allow your body heat to melt for easier distribution through ends.

For the more experimental, I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorite natural hair/skincare lines for you to peruse, and I’ll do my best to highlight what I think are standouts, especially in styling.

Qhemet Biologics (their website seems to be under repair at this time, but I found some of their line here: http://www.sagenaturalceuticals.com/shop/index.php?family=qhemet-biologics): Honey and Olive Hydrating balm, yes please. Lots of shine, smells like it sounds. Great for frizz, or to add moisture. Can be used by curlies to define with no crunch (aka no hold), or by straighter hairds wet or dry.

Lush cosmetics (http://www.lushusa.com)- Love this company. Shampoo bars are great for short hairds or for camping. Really dig the Happy Happy Joy Joy conditioner. It makes my fine bleached hair slightly happier, and that’s saying alot. Plus, I want to smell of it always. Shine So Bright end tamer is wonderful as well, but I find it drags when applied to wet hair- I’ll apply it sparingly dry and wait for it to absorb. It mostly does, with a little shine and definition through the ends.

Alaffia! (http://www.alaffia.com/, you can get it at Whole Foods)- The Mopsy household has one of these glass jars of shea butter in every room. All two of them. Ok, I’m going to reveal something that’s gross and dirty and it’s a secret, so don’t tell- I bite my nails. Much to my Gram’s (rest her precious soul) chagrin, I bite them so diehard that sometimes the saliva dries out my cuticles and they hurt real bad. This shea butter (I’ve tried so many others) is like, the hanky to my tears. It spreads easily and looks greasy at first, but the key is to not touch anything for 30 seconds and it soaks in and takes all the pain of fingernails and drying saliva out of life. I digress: the scalp shampoo is currently in my shower. It’s a low-cleanse, highly moisturizing shampoo, and it feels soft even while it’s in the hair. I really dig. If I’m going to use a dandruff medicated shampoo, I’ll often cleanse the scalp and hair with this first to make distributing the medicated one easier. Plus, the Alaffia is nice for your hair, and the medicated stuff is only meant for scalp, not really the hair. More about dandruff in post to come.

Max Green Alchemy (http://www.maxgreenalchemy.com/) Scalp conditioner is freaking awesome. works wonderfully on a dry scalp, but also softens ends in a ridiculous ‘touch me’ way.

Malin and Goetz (http://www.malinandgoetz.com/)- Peppermint shampoo, yes. Cilantro conditioner is wonderful for fine hair. Sage styling cream is awesome for short hair or really any hair that needs a slightly second-day look or weight to it.

Weleda is great, Jon Masters Organics, Sachajuan, and of course, my favorite, Phyto (http://www.phyto-usa.com/).

I try not to overwhelm with these long posts, but there’s just so much info to get out into the world! Please tell me what else you’ve tried and tell me how it feels- I’m into ‘feelings.’

Good luck and remember to respect both Science and Mother Nature.

One Love,

Mopsy

Hair isn’t like skin. Skin is alive, it’s an organ of the body, and your body makes skin cells to replenish old ones that tire, die, and shed. Your skin can absorb nutrients (or free radicals and other trash) and they can benefit or harm, but the important thing to note is that skin is alive. It will rejuvenate and turn over a new layer of it’s best self.

Hair is deader than a doornail once it’s outside of your head. It won’t replenish itself, and there are no new cells to replace crackly ones at your ends. You need to treat hair like a dead, lifeless, rotting, decrepit thing that you are just begging to cling to your head for a little longer. It’s old, people. The average head of adult hair grows 1/2- 1 inch per month. My lucky head barely squeezes out 1/4 of an inch. So, if we do some intricate second grade-level math; that makes our ends past our shoulders oh — 2,976,756 years old, or something like that.

Hair is just a tinsy tube of protein and water, getting whipped around all day, pulled up, holes shot into it’s sides with chemicals and such, blasted with heat- and we give it no protection in the way we feed our faces with moisture when they are dry, zit cream on a breakout, eye cream for that delicate undereye area, chapstick so our lips don’t crack.

If your hair is past your shoulders, you should use a leave in conditioner IN ADDITION TO YOUR RINSE OUT CONDITIONER. I’m sorry to yell and get gruff, but your ends need you, and you’re ignoring them. The longer your hair, or the more chemical processes it has endured, the creamier and more intense the formula. Some are heat-activated, some are super lightweight- just a whisper of dew for barely parched tips.

My pinterest page has suggestions for all different hair types- and I hate being a product pusher, but I’m tired of hearing how attached to your long (or in some cases “long”) hair you are, yet you don’t care for it at all. That’s just abusive! Clients always treat me like I’m the enemy when they have long hair that hasn’t been trimmed this decade and the ends bend and crack like straw. I can’t help you if you don’t help yourself, guys.

If you protect your ends, you can keep more of them at your next cut if you wish, therefore your hair will retain more of it’s length and grow longer quicker than having to whack of a bunch at each ‘trim.’

Shoulder length hair that you aren’t trying to grow? Keep in mind ends should always look slightly shiny and slightly moist, root area should look slightly matte. Healthy-ish hair styles better and is so much easier to comb through as well. I have a baby-fine bob and I use a few spritzes every time my ends are wet.

Just use the leave in.